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It's official... And by official I mean I saw it on the Internets. Kanye now has two sex tapes. And they're both getting shopped. Which means someone is trying to sell them. For actual money.

By the way, how do you 'shop' a sex tape? Is there like a number everyone just knows to call? Maybe it's more like a Cragislist kind of thing? 

And who does the shopping?

As if we didn't already know...

Kanye dates Kim. Kim "my family built an empire off my sex tape" Kardashian. You don't have to be a porno genius (there's a career) to figure out that this is an inside job. I meant the tape, you perv. 

Anyway, I'm pretty sure if we hopped in the Mystery Machine, tracked down the evildoer responsible for leaking the movies and ripped her mask off, we'd find Kris Jenner. She'd her fist at us, screaming, "I would've gotten away with it to if it weren't for you meddling kids!"

I can only hope that whole 'tragedy comes in threes' thing does NOT apply to this story.