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In case you are lucky enough to have a life, but still care what has transpired in the world of Reality TV this week, here's the upshot (in other words, all you need to know to sound like you know enough at the watercooler).

Sunday

The Emmys - Honestly, the best of the best when it comes to Reality TV is awards shows. I don't know that they fall squarely into the camp of Reality TV, but watching the stars in their element is pretty real. The highlights: Homeland and Modern Family did very well when it came to big wins and Sophia Vergara almost flashed her booty to the world with a wardrobe malfunction in the form of a split dress. The low lights: The citrus trend. It can go away any time now. Julianne Moore sported it poorly, Claire Danes used it to drape her baby bump, and Julie Bowen used it to show off her tan. Blech. 

Breaking Amish - This TLC show is one of the top 3 most watched shows on the network. It is also the number one most staged show. I can't take it anymore. Do they really expect us to believe that three episodes in, and who knows how many days in New York City and they are just getting around to getting outfitted in "English" clothes. This doesn't mean I'm going to stop watching it, I am just going to have a whole different inner monologue now that I'm comfortable with the fact that TLC is trying to pull the wool over our eyes.

Monday

Dancing With the Stars - While I so badly want to like Bristol Palin, and despite the fact that the judges call her the most improved dancer, she has proven to me that she just might be the most boring person in the entire world. Pam Anderson takes the title of "hottest mess," and Emmit Smith is hands down the most fun to watch. This will be a great season of All-Stars, and we can only hope that they will up the ante when it comes to skill and entertainment. Hint: watch it with the sound off... save your ears. The music is horrendous.

The Voice - Note: If you intend to audition for a singing show with celebrity judges, don't sing one of their songs. It probably won't go well. Just ask VJ. He tried to sing a Cee-Lo song and failed miserably. While it may seem fun to stand next to you later and show you how to sing the song properly, I assure you, that is an insult. 

Tuesday

Dancing With the Stars - Pam Anderson went home. This is a good thing.

Abby and Brittany - This show does such an amazing job of showing that these girls are just normal girls who happen to be conjoined twins. To the point where some may call the show "boring." I love these ladies, and think they have had the summer of their lives making this program. Next week is the finale. I am not holding my breath for news of another season.

Wednesday 

Survivor - The paranoia is setting in! This is where the show starts to get interesting. Alliances are forming, people are getting shifty, Lisa Welchel is starting to show cracks in her armor. Part of this game is strategy, but most of it is trying to keep your wits together on an island with no sleep, hardly any food, and scant supplies of water.  This is more than a mind game. Roxy ended up getting voted off, but it's a little early to be too attached to anyone. 

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo - The finale of this much loved show came with the news that another season has been ordered as well as three "holla-day" specials. This is great news for the family, for the viewers, and most of all for TLC as the ratings for this show went through the roof while the budget for the show was probably a couple of bucks and some pocket lint. Well done, TLC. Most of us will look forward to another fun season with Alana, those who aren't looking forward to it clearly haven't seen enough to fall in love with this quirky family with a unique slant on life. To know them is to love them, and if you haven't met them yet, the good news is, there's still time!