At long last, I have won a coloring contest.
Tear. I never thought this day would come. I am truly honored.
I’d like to thank my mom and dad, but mostly Perkins Restaurant & Bakery, for pushing me on the tens of hundreds of THOUSANDS OF COLORING CONTESTS I DID AS A KID BREATHE BREATHE BREATHE —-
I now know it was all part of a greater plan.
The competition was fierce…… Not really. But I also won’t say that I didn’t try. I tried very, very hard.
Last but not least, I’d like to thank my nose-shaped pencil sharpener from Ax-Man. You were my number one guy on this thing. I love you man.
To next year’s contest, which I’m sure won’t happen because I might have won this out of sheer pity and I don’t think they’ll be so eager to offend contest rules again so soon.
If there’s anything you can take away from this success story, it’s to always follow your dreams. Anything is possible. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars. To infinity and beyond, when in Rome.
And color, as if no one’s judging.
Have a great night everybody. We did it!