What the heck happened on American Horror Story last night?
Marley McMillan

What the heck happened on American Horror Story last night?

Sarah Paulson

I tuned in for the premiere of season 6 of “American Horror Story” (AHS) on FX on Wednesday night and….

WHAAAAAAA?????

I’m admittedly not the biggest fan of the horror genre, but I like to think I can appreciate something for what it is, even if it’s not my cup of tea.

For example, I am a fan of “Scream Queens,” also by AHS creator Ryan Murphy, and I tuned in for much of season 5 of American Horror Story: Hotel. I actually thoroughly appreciated last year’s premiere. It was digestible, terrifying, mind bending, and well acted.

I didn’t like it, but it was well done. I can’t say the same for this premiere.

First off, the acting was terrible. The show is set up as a story based on true life events, jostling between what are supposed to be real people’s testimonials as talking heads, and then reenactments of what happened by actors.

The reenactment premise is hard enough to buy into, but moreover, the testimonial actors leave much to be desired.

I don’t buy the justification of, ‘they’re bad at acting because they’re supposed to be real people’! Then we should believe they’re real people! We shouldn’t think that they’re actors!

These people look like they’re acting, which is what makes them bad actors. I actually laughed out loud when one of the characters started crying and asked if they could pause for a moment. It was the least believable thing I’ve seen on TV in a long time, and for sure in any show Ryan Murphy has done.

And then there was the plot, or was there? A million things happened in this one episode, and none of them seem to be remotely related: the lead male character is beat up in L.A.; the wife hears voices and gets choked in a hot tub by some disembodied arms; there are angry, racist villagers; the sky hails human teeth; a dead pig shows up on the couple’s doorstep; the wife hits an old lady with her car and gets lost in the forest with a bunch of suspended dolls.

All of these elements are scary on their own, but all together made the show feel like horror movie vomit — a mess of everything that has happened in every horror movie ever.

Maybe the creators of the show will be able to make sense of this throughout the season, but at this point, I can’t.

What did you think?

xoxo,

Marley

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Marley

hosts the “You Get A Rose” podcast covering “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” TV franchises.

| Email | @marleybigelow

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