I received a voice message yesterday that piqued my interest. It was my local gym calling to ask if I was still interested in a membership with their facility. I’ve been up to date on my monthly dues and so, I didn’t really understand the question. Had they not been receiving payments? My credit card certainly reflected that I was paid up. Then, I instinctively figured they were trying to suck me into some personal training bait; Nonetheless, because I like a challenge, I called back.
I talked to the person who had just left me the message and I asked her to check my account. She said everything was up to date, and that she was just doing a “check in”. MmmHmmm. A “check in”. Right. They’re trying to shame me, I thought.
Then I went into a series of lies about why I’d been absent…how I’ve been working out with friends outdoors, in the park, on the trails, going for runs…enjoying the great outdoors (which is usually the last place I want to be). She agreed that it was a good time to do that. OK, OK….True, I haven’t been to the gym in a good year and as a result, I felt obligated to explain to this intruder exactly why (-again, by lying).
I wanted to say: You know what, Lady? I’ve felt like being lazy for 2 years! (ok, so I lied to you about the “one year” earlier…ahem, it’s closer to 2)”. Instead, I said, “I’ll, for sure, be in on Monday!” (total lie).
What does she care how often I’m going to her stinking gym as long as she’s getting my money? It frees up another treadmill for another client, right? Doesn’t my absence actually benefit her business? Could it be she really cares about me?
Whatever the case, her passive-aggressive message kind of worked. And this is no lie: I AM thinking about how I REALLY need to get to the gym. And “thinking about it” is a good place to start, right? You’ve felt this way, yes?
Ok, I’m off to do 2 sets of 10 squats.
(That’s a total lie).0