Mayim Bialik has been catching fire for writing an op-ed that was published in The New York Times in which she seems to victim blame the women who were assaulted by Harvey Weinstein. She drew the ire of many over social media for the tone of the piece. It seems to me that in this piece she is processing her own part in a situation that she had no part in, but winds up pointing the finger in the wrong direction.
But that’s not what we’re hear to talk about.
After that kerfuffle, she posted a video on her YouTube channel focused on a question asked by a co-worker of hers, “Will your boys be like this?” (meaning, will your boys be a part of the patriarchy that uses women for sex?)
That one had my head spinning, too. I think that this is a question we should be asking a lot, and figuring out how to answer it. How do we as parents, but even more importantly, as a society accidentally reinforce these stereotypes that men are the powerful ones and women are there to serve?
I think about it when I ask my daughter to help me with a household task because she’s so agreeable and easy. I don’t have to convince her to help. My boys are often so exhausting because they are not eager. This may seem small, but am I raising a daughter who will be complacent and work possibly too hard to please others, and are my sons so busy getting their own needs met that they don’t even see the needs of others? It can drive a person mad to think about all the big and little ways we tell our children about their place in the world.
Mayim brings up some awesome thoughts about how to talk to young boys about how to treat women, and people in general. And you know what, I’m going to keep on thinking about this big question, because little old me can’t change the way Harvey Weinstein and other men like him have treated women, but I can do my part with the two men I’m raising to show them how to treat people.
It’s really worth the 6 minute watch. Even if you’re still mad at her for that ridiculous op-ed.0